What Kind of Newborn Mommy are You?

Whether you’re a veteran mom or about to give birth to your first child, you probably have opinions about life with a newborn.

My husband worked in a church last year, so we built close relationships with many people. Everyone in the church felt a close connection to us, even if we didn’t know them very well. It was wonderful.

We found out I was expecting a baby in the fall, and as the due date approached, I got an increasing amount of comments from people that made me very nervous. They were comments like, “What hospital are you delivering at? We want to come see you and the baby right after you give birth!” and, “Are you going to have the baby baptized the first Sunday after it’s born?”

I always thought I’d be a laid-back mom, but I realized, after hearing these comments, how protective I am. The thought of my hospital room being flooded with well-meaning church members, quite honestly, freaked me out. I didn’t want people holding my brand new baby, and I didn’t want to sacrifice my bonding and resting time.

Even the thought of family members coming to visit filled me with apprehension. I didn’t mind my mother coming, because she’s not the type of person that will insist on holding the baby. She’s only there to help with whatever I need. However, I did not, under any circumstances, want my siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, or anyone else coming to stay with us and visit us in the week immediately following the birth. I love them, but I wanted them to wait about a month before coming to see us. (In case you are wondering what the big deal is, anyone in my family would have to fly or drive at least 7 hours to see the baby, so it wouldn’t be a quick visit – it would be at least an overnight stay).

My ideal situation was one where I’d give birth, my mother would fly out to help with cooking, cleaning, and whatever else I needed, and the four of us (my husband, mother, baby, and I) would stay at home with the doors locked. I wanted to stay in bed all day, doing nothing but holding my baby. I wanted to nurse without having to cover myself with a blanket. I wanted my new family to have a chance to bond, without any interruptions.

I realize not everyone is like me. I know plenty of mothers who give birth on a Wednesday and are in church on Sunday. Some of my close friends had their entire extended family (or so it seemed) in their hospital room within hours of giving birth, and everyone held the baby. They couldn’t wait to get out of the house, go for walks, go grocery shopping, et cetera. To them, the joy of a new baby wasn’t complete if they couldn’t share it with others.

What type of newborn mother are you?

New Mommy Must-Haves

When I try to think back on the first month of my daughter’s life, everything is a little hazy. It seems like all I did was hold her, feed her, change her diaper, and sleep. She was a relatively easy baby and slept pretty well from the get-go, but I still felt like I was in some sort of survival mode. Not only did I have a new baby to take care of, but my poor body took a while to recover from a tough 30-hour labor.

I don’t know how I would have made it through the first month without three items I happened to have on hand: stool softeners, frozen maxi pads, and a Moby Wrap.

Maybe you’re reading the phrase “stool softener” and wondering why it made the list. I’m not sure if my experience was unique, but going number two was terrifying for me after giving birth. Not only was I extremely sore (the doctor told me I had received the equivalent of about 15 stitches), but my number two wasn’t of a consistency that came out easily. To put it bluntly, I felt like I was trying to push rocks out, and that the rocks would tear my stitches. After spending agonizing hours in the bathroom, thinking to myself that I’d rather go through another 30-hour labor than be in this situation, I finally began to take stool softeners regularly. Trips to the bathroom were still scary, but a lot more manageable.

I wasn’t prepared for how much pain I would be in after I was finished giving birth. I had heard labor was painful, but no one prepared me for the aftermath. The hospital had ice packs for me to use “down there,” but they didn’t get quite cold enough to relieve the pain and soreness. Once I got home, I bought a pack of overnight maxi pads with wings, put water in the middle of them, and put them in the freezer. These home-made ice packs gave the best relief out of anything else I had tried. They fit perfectly in regular underwear, and were so refreshingly cold.

The stool softeners and frozen maxi pads were very important, but my number one, most-needed baby product, one that I highly recommend all new mothers purchase, was my Moby Wrap. It was comfortable, adjustable, and easy to use. If my daughter was ever crying and I couldn’t figure out how to get her to stop, all I had to do was put her in the Moby Wrap. It was like magic. She would instantaneously stop crying, and usually would fall asleep within five minutes. Even when she wasn’t crying, I’d put her in the Moby Wrap, and she’d be content for hours. It was an easy way for me to keep her close to me and still have my hands free.

Did you just have a baby? Congratulations, and take my advice: if you don’t already own these items, send your husband out to buy them.

Our Experience With Kangaroo Care

My daughter was born with some minor health concerns. Because of this, the pediatricians at the hospital recommended she remain in the hospital for a week to be observed. It was very upsetting that we didn’t get to take her home; however, the experience was not entirely negative. I was able to stay in my daughter’s room the entire week, and we learned about a very valuable method of caring for babies. This method is called Kangaroo Care.

Kangaroo Care is a method often used with premature babies, but it has been proven to be very successful in helping both premature and term babies overcome a myriad of problems. Our daughter was not a preemie, but she had health issues related to her respiration rate. We were encouraged to do Kangaroo Care with her to speed up her recovery.

When I first entered my daughter’s room and expressed my desire to hold her, the nurses instructed me to wear my hospital gown with the front part open. They placed my baby, wearing only her diaper, on my bare chest. They described her position as head-up, skin-to-skin, tummy-to-tummy. She was hooked up to many monitors, so we could see exactly how this method of holding was affecting her breathing, oxygen intake, blood pressure, and pulse. The nurses were pleased with what they saw, and encouraged me to keep holding her like this – head up, skin-to-skin, and tummy-to-tummy.

In addition to holding her in this position, they also encouraged me to breastfeed on demand – that is, feed her whenever she wants to eat, paying no attention to the clock.

My husband and I were eager to do anything to speed up her recovery, so we utilized Kangaroo Care around the clock. She was constantly held skin-to-skin by either my husband or me, and I breastfed her whenever she so much as hinted that she was hungry.

After one 24-hour day of continuous Kangaroo Care, she had almost completely recovered. She remained in the hospital to complete her round of antibiotics, but we were no longer worried about her. I obviously have no way of knowing if she would have had such a speedy recovery without Kangaroo Care, but I truly believe it played a major role in helping her get better.

For a full week, our daughter had skin-to-skin contact with us and breastfed whenever she wanted. Even after she got out of the hospital, we continued to use Kangaroo Care regularly. It was wonderful. Rather than trying to get my house back in order, I was content to relax and snuggle with my baby. I knew that I needed to rest, and I felt confident that my daughter was reaping tremendous benefits.